Living the DREAM for low-income Grade 6 Students

I was once a dreamer. A dreamer full of misery and doubts. Can I achieve this? Do I have to do this? Is this necessary? Can I do this? Those questions were crept and embedded in my mind as I walked towards my 7th grade. I remember back then, I was feeling anxious as I entered Tagudin National High School as I was not fond of too many people. I am afraid of the crowd as I was raised in a community with similar faces. I thought maybe this was the time I should go and see outside of my own box. Perhaps, this could be the first step onto my next journey of becoming the person I want to be.

So, I did. I entered as a Special Mathematics Class (SMC) Student at Tagudin National High School for four (4) years. Back then, I dreamt of becoming a Certified Public Account (CPA) because a lot of people complimented me on having intelligence in Mathematics. I enjoyed the art of problem solving and critical thinking. As time went by, I was slowly getting comfortable interacting with new faces, new teachers, new classmates, and a new environment. I must say that it was hard for me to walk along a forest filled with different substances and subjects. Yet, I did. For my dreams. For my family. For myself. And for other people.

 Unexpectedly, the pandemic came. It was a nightmare for me and to a lot of people. It became the darkness that ate my confidence. It became the foe that I badly needed to fight. It became the time when I was breathless and mindless to my actions. It became the worst thing that happened. Two years were long to experience hardship and tragedy. Not only for studies but also for my personal matters. I lost all the confidence that I built for so many years. I became weak and uneasy. I almost lost my hope of dreaming... Because that’s the time I realized that Certified Public Account (CPA) was not for me. That only some branches of Mathematics were worth solving and analyzing. That pursuing this career was not my cup of tea. Thus, it became blurry again.

What will be my next step? What will be my dream? Is there a future that awaits me? Do I have a future?

Those questions ate me as I encountered difficulties in studying while it was pandemic. Surely, there was internet for me to understand different subjects, yet it was not enough. I am the eldest, so I did not know how to seek help, and no one was there to offer help. Yet, I managed. I stood up for myself, thinking about those people who will need my help too. I stood up not because I feared failing but because there are people, I am willing to extend my hand onto. I stood up for my dreams.

Because I was once a dreamer. And a dreamer never gives up.

So, after the pandemic, it was my 10th grade. As I left the confidence back then, I tried to retrieve it. I tried so hard to build connections with people again. I tried so hard to stand up in the middle of the class, recite and speak, so that I could have better grades for my Senior High School. And I never disappointed myself. I was the second in the class as I moved up as With High Honors.

I took Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics as my strand on my Grade 11th Year. I admit, it was another hardship for me again because I needed to adjust again. I was once part of the special classes, that is why I met similar faces all the time in class yet in my 11th grade, I knew I had to make other adjustments.

As each one of us introduced ourselves in our 11th Grade, I said ..." I chose STEM to mold me to become the best version of myself.”  It was only a short introduction because I was afraid again of people. I was thinking of how they would react. I was thinking of how I will manage to interact with another set of new people. I was thinking of numerous doubts since I also lost my best friend because she transferred to another school. Yet, God really helped me to walk along the way. I chose the STEM strand so that I could be a doctor, a pediatrician in the future. Finally, I thought to myself, I had another dream. This dream was inspired by children, by young people. My dream career was for other people, for the future of this world, the children. I wanted to be a Pediatric Doctor so that I could treat and help children who need my service.

That became the motivation I used to push myself to study more, yet it was not easy. I dealt with different circumstances. I dealt with rejection. I dealt with negative reactions. I dealt with difficulties in understanding my own self and the strand I was in. It was never easy, yet I chose to stand with my own decision. That is why I received an award during my 11th grade recognition as an Honor Student. That is one reason why I continue to pursue my strand in 12th grade.

Last school year was a hectic and most prominent year for me. I needed to finalize my grades for my college degree. I needed to pass all the exams from first to fourth. I needed to finish our research and defend it. I needed to secure my slot and apply to my dream universities. I needed to apply for scholarships. I needed to make a clear path for my future. There were things that confused me as I walked along my last school year as a high school student. It was not easy. It was tough, rough, and dreadful. I always cry as much as I cried during pandemic days. I always have sleepless times due to hectic schedules. I always go to school with nothing in my mind due to a lot of things running through it. I always isolate myself from people because I wanted to deal with all those confusions and uncertainties in my mind.

Yet, with all those days that I have spent roughly in my high school years, I graduated as an Honor Student. I graduated with good morals. I graduated with a smile plastered on my lips. Because those were part of my dreams. Those were part of my journey. Those were part of my existence. As I closed the book of my story in high school, I always thought to myself to look for beauty in every circumstance. Even if I fall seven times, I should stand up eight because life has taught me that a special one must go forward rather than elevate what downgrades me. I chose this lifeline so I must stick with the vision and mission I must do with all the grace, guidance, and glory of God.

Of course, without the help of those people who guided me throughout my journey, I would not successfully complete my high school years, so I want this opportunity to extend my gratitude to all those people who brought me victory. To my Gawad Pangarap Foundation Family, I offer you my success, hardship, happiness, and thankfulness for all the cheers and smiles at me. With God’s glory, I will finally close the final chapter of my high school story as I leave these final words written on my own story entitled, “Words Written in High School”.

 This essay is a recount of one of our High School Scholars. If you are touched, please support us by donating to the link : http://goto.gg/38937.  Thank you to our Donors and Supporters for the continuous financial assistance and believing in our endeavor. 

Respectfully,

Grace Apusen and the Gawad Pangarap Family

I was there. I was almost there. And then, suddenly, I'm here. We are here.

It was six long years of high school but felt short because of magic. But what magic? Before you get to know that "magic", let me tell you a story.

Once, I had a dream. A dream bigger than the whole sky, as realistic as the ocean’s blue waters and green grass, louder than the beat of a heart, shinier than my medals, and heavier than my trophies. But sadly, I woke up. I woke up to a realization. It was just imagination.

The moment I opened my eyes; I can still vividly remember the ringtone that rang on my phone. It wasn’t my alarm. It was a call -a calling. And there, I saw hope. After I departed from the portal of Elementary hood, I carried a bunch of awards, trophies, and ribbons. But along with that, also, sadness. Sadly, I think that I might not be able to go to high school yet, because of financial problems. 

My mom was pregnant that year, and we were three back then—I was the eldest. And now, there are four of us. But I didn’t let that affect me. There would be no success if I didn’t make progress. I still decided I wanted to study, even if there was a financial burden.

While we were on a school break, I decided to apply for the qualifying exam of the Special Science Class for high school. And yes, I was excited to tell my parents. But then, they seemed uninterested.

But I opened my piggy bank and quickly pulled out the 20-peso bill from its small hole. I went to take the exam alone, hoping for the best. Unbeknownst to me, I would rank #1. But that didn’t matter to me—what mattered was that I passed.

After the exam, a teacher spoke in the middle of the classroom telling us about a Scholarship Program. I was flooded with hope. I was smiling. I didn’t waste time and joined the others fill up the application form.

Yes, application. They were hope and blessing. That’s when I first learned about Gawad Pangarap Foundation. They asked us to write a story of our lives and why we deserved to be one of their scholars. And of course, I wrote and wrote until there was no space left on the paper. That was the first and longest essay I had ever written.

After that, I was about to go home. But then, there weren’t enough coins left for my tricycle fare. So, with no choice, I ran—ran as fast as the summer sun burned my skin. But I didn’t feel tired. What I felt was the excitement of telling my parents that I passed, and yes, they are very proud. I also told them about Gawad Pangarap.

And there, I was constantly thinking about the scholarship. I kept praying every night and waited for their call. And yes, God answered my prayer. They called back, making me one of their scholars. That was the first MAGIC I witnessed.

My family was so happy. We weren’t financially stable. My mother is a housewife, and my dad repairs watches. Their income is just enough for us to live. But in my life, I was never ashamed of their jobs. I was the proudest.

Fast forward—it was the week before the first day of school. Gawad Pangarap Foundation gave us supplies for school. Uniform shirts and pants, shoes, pens, notebooks, bags, and many more.

My first year in high school was great. They supported us financially every month, as well as my co-scholars. Then, the dark clouds covered my entire path. The pandemic came. It was our downfall. Closed infrastructures. No job. No work. No money. My parents were jobless. Luckily, they also paused the classes. Because if they hadn’t, I don’t know what would’ve happened. I thought the world had turned its back on us. But I was never hopeless. I saw MAGIC again. GAWAD PANGARAP was there to guide us.

 After some months, classes started again, but with a different mode of instruction. Gawad Pangarap Foundation, Inc really helped us during that time. They helped us study despite the pandemic. They provided what we needed to keep our academics alive.

 After the pandemic, I started to rise. Step by step, until I reach my goal. I started going out of my comfort zone. I joined extracurricular activities. I excelled in class. I became a student leader. I was happy because I was carrying not just my name, my school, but also the GAWAD PANGARAP FOUNDATION. They continued to support us scholars and wanted us to be successful in life.

But then, during my last year of high school, I felt so low. That was the moment I started to doubt myself, which I never did before. I got low scores. I lost the urge to study well. And I asked for help.

Then, I saw MAGIC. AGAIN. GAWAD PANGARAP was there. I was so grateful. They were one of the best gifts in my life. They helped me stand up. They were my backbone.

 I started to be myself again. They showed me the path. They helped me build my confidence and reminded me of who I really am. They believed in me.  I became a student leader. Became the president of an organization in the whole Division of Ilocos Sur. That was because of GAWAD PANGARAP. I competed and won competitions outside school. I even attended national events like Learners Convergence Philippines held in Cebu, and the Rizal Competition held in Baguio. Again, because of Gawad Pangarap. They helped me cover my fees to be at those conventions. My school expenses—Gawad Pangarap was there.

The yummy, sweet ham and saucy spaghetti every Christmas—they were there.

And most importantly, I started to see and be proud of myself. That was because of Gawad Pangarap.

My high school life was a roller coaster. Full of excitement and falls. But every time, I wasn’t alone. I had Gawad Pangarap. They didn’t just support me financially—they supported me mentally and emotionally.

I may not be the class valedictorian, as we all hoped, but the best part was discovering and showing my true self.

After we wrote that chapter of our book, I actually never believed in their magic—which there really wasn’t. I just believed in their kindness. It was all faith, love, and kindness.

I was just a hopeful child back then. How did I know?

Because, I was there, I was almost there, and then suddenly, I’m here.

We are here - proud to be products of Gawad Pangarap Foundation Inc

Thank you so much, Gawad Pangarap Foundation Inc. and to all the donors and supporters of this Foundation.

God Bless us all .

Here is another inspiring story of one of our HS graduate Scholar. Hope you continue to support us with achieving their DREAMS. Here is the link to donate: http://goto.gg/38937.  Thank you to our Donors and Supporters for the continuous financial assistance and believing in our endeavor. 

Respectfully,

Grace Apusen and the Gawad Pangarap Team