Living the DREAM for low-income Grade 6 Students

I was once a dreamer. A dreamer full of misery and doubts. Can I achieve this? Do I have to do this? Is this necessary? Can I do this? Those questions were crept and embedded in my mind as I walked towards my 7th grade. I remember back then, I was feeling anxious as I entered Tagudin National High School as I was not fond of too many people. I am afraid of the crowd as I was raised in a community with similar faces. I thought maybe this was the time I should go and see outside of my own box. Perhaps, this could be the first step onto my next journey of becoming the person I want to be.

So, I did. I entered as a Special Mathematics Class (SMC) Student at Tagudin National High School for four (4) years. Back then, I dreamt of becoming a Certified Public Account (CPA) because a lot of people complimented me on having intelligence in Mathematics. I enjoyed the art of problem solving and critical thinking. As time went by, I was slowly getting comfortable interacting with new faces, new teachers, new classmates, and a new environment. I must say that it was hard for me to walk along a forest filled with different substances and subjects. Yet, I did. For my dreams. For my family. For myself. And for other people.

 Unexpectedly, the pandemic came. It was a nightmare for me and to a lot of people. It became the darkness that ate my confidence. It became the foe that I badly needed to fight. It became the time when I was breathless and mindless to my actions. It became the worst thing that happened. Two years were long to experience hardship and tragedy. Not only for studies but also for my personal matters. I lost all the confidence that I built for so many years. I became weak and uneasy. I almost lost my hope of dreaming... Because that’s the time I realized that Certified Public Account (CPA) was not for me. That only some branches of Mathematics were worth solving and analyzing. That pursuing this career was not my cup of tea. Thus, it became blurry again.

What will be my next step? What will be my dream? Is there a future that awaits me? Do I have a future?

Those questions ate me as I encountered difficulties in studying while it was pandemic. Surely, there was internet for me to understand different subjects, yet it was not enough. I am the eldest, so I did not know how to seek help, and no one was there to offer help. Yet, I managed. I stood up for myself, thinking about those people who will need my help too. I stood up not because I feared failing but because there are people, I am willing to extend my hand onto. I stood up for my dreams.

Because I was once a dreamer. And a dreamer never gives up.

So, after the pandemic, it was my 10th grade. As I left the confidence back then, I tried to retrieve it. I tried so hard to build connections with people again. I tried so hard to stand up in the middle of the class, recite and speak, so that I could have better grades for my Senior High School. And I never disappointed myself. I was the second in the class as I moved up as With High Honors.

I took Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics as my strand on my Grade 11th Year. I admit, it was another hardship for me again because I needed to adjust again. I was once part of the special classes, that is why I met similar faces all the time in class yet in my 11th grade, I knew I had to make other adjustments.

As each one of us introduced ourselves in our 11th Grade, I said ..." I chose STEM to mold me to become the best version of myself.”  It was only a short introduction because I was afraid again of people. I was thinking of how they would react. I was thinking of how I will manage to interact with another set of new people. I was thinking of numerous doubts since I also lost my best friend because she transferred to another school. Yet, God really helped me to walk along the way. I chose the STEM strand so that I could be a doctor, a pediatrician in the future. Finally, I thought to myself, I had another dream. This dream was inspired by children, by young people. My dream career was for other people, for the future of this world, the children. I wanted to be a Pediatric Doctor so that I could treat and help children who need my service.

That became the motivation I used to push myself to study more, yet it was not easy. I dealt with different circumstances. I dealt with rejection. I dealt with negative reactions. I dealt with difficulties in understanding my own self and the strand I was in. It was never easy, yet I chose to stand with my own decision. That is why I received an award during my 11th grade recognition as an Honor Student. That is one reason why I continue to pursue my strand in 12th grade.

Last school year was a hectic and most prominent year for me. I needed to finalize my grades for my college degree. I needed to pass all the exams from first to fourth. I needed to finish our research and defend it. I needed to secure my slot and apply to my dream universities. I needed to apply for scholarships. I needed to make a clear path for my future. There were things that confused me as I walked along my last school year as a high school student. It was not easy. It was tough, rough, and dreadful. I always cry as much as I cried during pandemic days. I always have sleepless times due to hectic schedules. I always go to school with nothing in my mind due to a lot of things running through it. I always isolate myself from people because I wanted to deal with all those confusions and uncertainties in my mind.

Yet, with all those days that I have spent roughly in my high school years, I graduated as an Honor Student. I graduated with good morals. I graduated with a smile plastered on my lips. Because those were part of my dreams. Those were part of my journey. Those were part of my existence. As I closed the book of my story in high school, I always thought to myself to look for beauty in every circumstance. Even if I fall seven times, I should stand up eight because life has taught me that a special one must go forward rather than elevate what downgrades me. I chose this lifeline so I must stick with the vision and mission I must do with all the grace, guidance, and glory of God.

Of course, without the help of those people who guided me throughout my journey, I would not successfully complete my high school years, so I want this opportunity to extend my gratitude to all those people who brought me victory. To my Gawad Pangarap Foundation Family, I offer you my success, hardship, happiness, and thankfulness for all the cheers and smiles at me. With God’s glory, I will finally close the final chapter of my high school story as I leave these final words written on my own story entitled, “Words Written in High School”.

 This essay is a recount of one of our High School Scholars. If you are touched, please support us by donating to the link : http://goto.gg/38937.  Thank you to our Donors and Supporters for the continuous financial assistance and believing in our endeavor. 

Respectfully,

Grace Apusen and the Gawad Pangarap Family